This blog post is for all the actors I know, as well as all the actors who have never had the pleasure of listening to me reprimand them. In other words, this blog post is for every actor in existence and all those to come in the future until the end of time. That means you too, Meryl Streep!
As you may know, I've seen a lot of stage plays in my lifetime, and I've worked on a number of plays as well. As you may also know, I love and respect you, actors. You bring my characters (and other playwrights' characters) to life, and you tend to be good company, even as I fight you to be the center of attention. But there's one thing that I've seen you do that happens to be my greatest actor pet peeve. And you have to stop it. Now. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!
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